You know you’re a Chemist when…
January 21st, 2008 by mitch (2489 Views)… The Mercedes symbol looks like an eclipsed conformation.
… The first thing you reach for in the morning are your prescription goggles
… All your shirts have holes.
… All your scars are not from bar fights but from chemical burns.
… Someone offers you acid, but its not what you expected.
… Describing sexual positions you use SN1, SN2 and all your friends know what you are talking about. (Theoritically)
… Your kids ask you how Santa fits through a small chimney you reply, “Duh, tunneling effect.”
… You buy a sleeping bag but its not for camping trips.
… You BBQ with the Bunsen burner.
… You say its the size that matters, but you’re really talking about molecular radii.
… You have blisters from playing with your molecular model kit
… You are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol
… You hear the word ‘Molar’ and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
… You habitually wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restroom
… When someone says ’sodium’ you don’t think about salt, but you think about a clay-like metal that goes well with a big lake.
… You know what saline water is composed of
… You hear “ABS” and you think about acrylnitril-butadiene-styrol copolymer instead of anti-lock breaking system.
… You hear that someone had a bicycle crash and you think that he couldn’t handle working with Naphthalene.
… You stare at the bottle of water and begin to wonder how you would separate all those ions.
… When a friend offers you a glass of amaretto after dinner, you have a sip and say “Ahh, Benzaldehyde…”
… You look at a hexagonal-shaped cookie and think of benzene, not a hexagon.
… I and Me can be iodine and methyl when read…
… OH is a hydroxy group, not Ohio (and I even live in Ohio)
… The stick figures you draw are carbon and not people. (Unless you are CBC)
… when you are humming “dilution is the solution to pollution” while looking at a urinal.
… You put a vodka shot in a 100 ml beaker.
… You use twostirring rod as a chop stick.
… You use the magnetic stirrer as a mixer for your drinks.
… You use the chemostat as an aquarium.
… You use the fume hood as a closet.
… You use term table sugar as sucrose and you call common table salt as sodium chloride.
… Someone says, “I love U” & you think they are talking of Uranium!
… You use coke not for drinking, but for cleaning pennies
… You realize your most visited site is not a pornographic one: it’s Chemistry Blog or Chemical Forums!
… You understand these jokes and laughed at them.
Now it’s your turn to contribute.
Note 1: Compiled from — here
Note 2: Biologists got into the game — You know you’re a biologist when…
Mitch

“You realize your most visited site is not a pornographic one: it’s Chemistry Blog or Chemical Forums!”
Don’t worry folks, this one is not all-inclusive.
“… Describing sexual positions you use SN1, SN2 and all your friends know what you are talking about.”
Ah yes, The SN1. It’s where you detach… you know, I’m just gonna stop there.
I guess the good ol’ SN1 can be mysterious to a few..
Mitch
I’m a chemistry nerd… but some of those are just tooo nerdy. I mean… I guess I’ve done most of them in some form, but putting them out like that makes me feel really bad for doing it.
Thanks, Mitch. I hate myself again.
I like it…WOO HOO - just do not anyone ask me how to separate those ions in that bottle of water…LOL
Oh… so true about the scars. Me got awsome one from a polymerization “accident”. Melted my watch (plastic) and burn my skin. Got a giant blister. However, my lab mate couldn’t get the bicycle joke. He’s a Natural Product, not a synthetic guy.
The amaretto one rang sooo true. I always tell people that’s the smell and then waffle on about cyanide etc.
The bicycle crash made me laugh out loud! Brilliant
db
…Yeah, some of those are a little hopeless. I like the one about getting offered acid, though. Too bad it never happens.
Several of those would also apply to Microbiologists. Especially the hand-washing one.
We’d say “conjugation” instead of “sex”, though.