You know you’re a Chemist when…

… The Mercedes symbol looks like an eclipsed conformation.
… The first thing you reach for in the morning are your prescription safety glasses.
… All your shirts have holes.
… All your scars are not from bar fights but from chemical burns.
… Someone offers you acid, but its not what you expected.
… Describing sexual positions you use SN1, SN2 and all your friends know what you are talking about. (Theoritically)
… Kids ask you how Santa fits through a small chimney and you reply, “Duh, tunneling effect.”
… You buy a sleeping bag but its not for camping trips.
… You BBQ with the Bunsen burner.
… You say its the size that matters, but you’re really talking about molecular radii.

… You have blisters from playing with your molecular model kit
… You are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol

… You hear the word ‘Molar’ and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
… You habitually wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restroom
… When someone says ’sodium’ you don’t think about salt, but you think about a clay-like metal that goes well with a big lake.

… You know what saline water is composed of

… You hear “ABS” and you think about acrylnitril-butadiene-styrol copolymer instead of anti-lock breaking system.

… You hear that someone had a bicycle crash and you think that he couldn’t handle working with Naphthalene.

… You stare at the bottle of water and begin to wonder how you would separate all those ions.

… When a friend offers you a glass of amaretto after dinner, you have a sip and say “Ahh, Benzaldehyde…”

… You look at a hexagonal-shaped cookie and think of benzene, not a hexagon.
… I and Me can be iodine and methyl when read…
… OH is a hydroxy group, not Ohio (and I even live in Ohio)

… The stick figures you draw are carbon and not people. (Unless you are CBC)

… when you are humming “dilution is the solution to pollution” while looking at a urinal.

… You put a vodka shot in a 100 ml beaker.
… You use two stirring rods as chop sticks.
… You use the magnetic stirrer as a mixer for your drinks.
… You use the chemostat as an aquarium.
… You use the fume hood as a closet.
… You don’t say table sugar but call it sucrose, and you call common table salt as sodium chloride.

… Someone says, “I love U” and you think they are talking about Uranium!
… You use coke not for drinking, but for cleaning pennies

… You realize your most visited site is not a pornographic one: it’s Chemistry Blog or Chemical Forums!

… You understand these jokes and laughed at them.

Now its your turn to contribute! Leave your jokes in the Comments Section.

Originally compiled from Chemical Forums

Edit 1: Biologists get into the game — You know you’re a biologist when…

Mitch

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